Brazilian – Michmutters
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Woman buys $2600 designer coffee table: Finds ‘penis’ design

An architect who spent a whopping $2600 on a designer coffee table was horrified when it turned up sporting what looked like a giant penis.

Brazilian architect Ana Julieta Garcia had purchased the table for an interior design project she was working on for a client in Spain.

The 32-year-old paid $2,619 for the handmade piece.

But at the time of paying, she had not seen the specific design she would get, as the tables are made from volcanic lava and are each individual.

Ms Garcia, who also works as a DJ, was astonished when the delivery arrived with the likeness of a penis covering the tabletop.

“It’s a handmade table made from volcanic lava, which is enamelled by hand. You can’t know the final design until it comes out of the oven,” she said.

“That’s the beautiful part of the story, you never know how your product will turn out.

“I saw the example – but it really went wrong in the oven.”

“All the dark pigments clumped together in the middle. Normally, they’re separated,” she added.

“Usually, the final image looks like it is multidimensional. But my order turned out really – interesting – I’d say.”

She joked: “Help! You work your whole life and now your reference is a huge blue d*ck.

“When you put ‘Ana Julieta’ into Google, only this will appear. Nothing about an architect or a DJ.”

She added: “The company sent me the product advising that it hadn’t turned out like they’d hoped.

“It’s just that the table has a long production time. I left it with my client, and the new tabletop is already under production.

“When I handed it over, I said, ‘If you want to keep it, fine. If not, I understand.’”

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Sports

Jiu-jitsu legend shot, how did he die?

Legendary Jiu-jitsu fighter Leandro Lo was fatally shot at a concert in Sao Paulo, Brazil, according to reports.

A lawyer for the Brazilian Jiu-jitsu world champion confirmed that his client, 33, died after being declared brain-dead from the shooting, according to a report by MMA Fighting.

The killing allegedly took place during a confrontation between Lo and Police Officer Henrique Otávio Oliveira Velozo, the outlet reported.

Witnesses said Velozo grabbed a bottle from Lo’s table and that the fighter took the cop down and held him, according to the outlet, citing a police report.

MMA Fighting reports after the pair were separated, Velozo allegedly pulled out a gun, firing a round into Lo’s forehead.

Lo had dominated the sport since 2011, winning eight World Championship titles – which made him one of the most decorated Jiu-jitsu fighters of all time. Just earlier this year, he won another World Championship in California.

Tributes came flooding in after the shock news of his death.

“A very sad day for the BJJ community,” analyst and former UFC fighter Kenny Florian tweeted. “Leander was a legend.”

Combat sports analyst Luke Thomas tweeted: “Oh my god.”

UFC commentator John Gooden tweeted: “Saddened to hear about the tragic loss of Leandro Lo. One of the greatest Jiu-jitsu players ever. Absolutely tragic. My condolences to his family and friends of him.”

This article first appeared on the New York Post and was reproduced with permission

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Sports

Leandro Lo dead at 33: Jiu-jitsu legend shot, how did he die?

Legendary Jiu-jitsu fighter Leandro Lo was fatally shot at a concert in Sao Paulo, Brazil, according to reports.

A lawyer for the Brazilian Jiu-jitsu world champion confirmed that his client, 33, died after being declared brain-dead from the shooting, according to a report by MMA Fighting.

The killing allegedly took place during a confrontation between Lo and Police Officer Henrique Otávio Oliveira Velozo, the outlet reported.

Witnesses said Velozo grabbed a bottle from Lo’s table and that the fighter took the cop down and held him, according to the outlet, citing a police report.

MMA Fighting reports after the pair were separated, Velozo allegedly pulled out a gun, firing a round into Lo’s forehead.

Lo had dominated the sport since 2011, winning eight World Championship titles – which made him one of the most decorated Jiu-jitsu fighters of all time. Just earlier this year, he won another World Championship in California.

Tributes came flooding in after the shock news of his death.

“A very sad day for the BJJ community,” analyst and former UFC fighter Kenny Florian tweeted. “Leander was a legend.”

Combat sports analyst Luke Thomas tweeted: “Oh my god.”

This article first appeared on the New York Post and was reproduced with permission

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Sports

UFC news 2022: Israel Adesanya, Alex Pereira, UFC 281, Dana White, November, title fight

Israel Adesanya will have the chance to re-write some personal history when he defends his UFC middleweight title against Brazilian Alex Pereira on November 13 (AEST).

World champion Adesanya announced on Sports Center that he’ll fight old rival Pereira in a title fight at UFC 281 at New York’s Madison Square Garden.

The highly anticipated grudge match pits the two old foes against each other for the first time in mixed martial arts, after fighting twice before in kickboxing.

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Adesanya was visibly shocked by the judges’ decision after his first fight with Pereira, with the Brazilian winning by unanimous decision.

The pair had their rematch less than a year later in March 2017, with a left hand knocking the Nigerian-born fight out during the third round.

While he hasn’t felt the need to chase revenge after losing both fights, Adesanya vowed to “slam this b****” ahead of their meeting at the famous New York venue later this year.

“Have I ever shied away from a fight? I’ve always picked the guy no one wants to fight,” Adesanya said on Sports Center.

“The guy that everyone runs away from, I run towards. So I run towards the fire and this is no different.

“After he beat me in Brazil, I never had any plans of trying to get revenge or anything like that because I don’t hold onto things.

“I’m telling you, the universe has presented this to me and it’s right there. It’s the perfect alley-oop and I’m going to slam this b****”.

Adesanya held onto his middleweight crown with a unanimous decision win over American Jared Cannonier at UFC 276 last month.

The victory extended the 33-year-old’s unbeaten run to three fights, after losing to Polish fighter Jan Blachowicz by unanimous decision in the UFC light heavyweight title fight last year.

As for his opponent, Pereira is undefeated from three fights so far in the UFC whilst he’s undefeated in his last six MMA fights.

The Brazilian is coming off a first-round knockout of the highly rated Sean Strickland.

Originally published as ‘Slam this b****’: Israel Adesanya’s message to old rival ahead of UFC grudge match

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Sports

Israel Adesanya, Alex Pereira, UFC 281, Dana White, November, title fight

Israel Adesanya will have the chance to re-write some personal history when he defends his UFC middleweight title against Brazilian Alex Pereira on November 13 (AEST).

World champion Adesanya announced on Sports Center that he’ll fight old rival Pereira in a title fight at UFC 281 at New York’s Madison Square Garden.

The highly anticipated grudge match pits the two old foes against each other for the first time in mixed martial arts, after fighting twice before in kickboxing.

Watch Live UFC with ESPN on Kayo. Full Fight Night Events, PPV Prelims, Ultimate Fighter Series & More. New to Kayo? Start your free trial now >

Adesanya was visibly shocked by the judges’ decision after his first fight with Pereira, with the Brazilian winning by unanimous decision.

The pair had their rematch less than a year later in March 2017, with a left hand knocking the Nigerian-born fight out during the third round.

While he hasn’t felt the need to chase revenge after losing both fights, Adesanya vowed to “slam this b****” ahead of their meeting at the famous New York venue later this year.

Tough as nails Aussie makes Dana applaud | 01:28

“Have I ever shied away from a fight? I’ve always picked the guy no one wants to fight,” Adesanya said on Sports Center.

“The guy that everyone runs away from, I run towards. So I run towards the fire and this is no different.

“After he beat me in Brazil, I never had any plans of trying to get revenge or anything like that because I don’t hold onto things.

“I’m telling you, the universe has presented this to me and it’s right there. It’s the perfect alley-oop and I’m going to slam this b****”.

Adesanya held onto his middleweight crown with a unanimous decision win over American Jared Cannonier at UFC 276 last month.

The victory extended the 33-year-old’s unbeaten run to three fights, after losing to Polish fighter Jan Blachowicz by unanimous decision in the UFC light heavyweight title fight last year.

As for his opponent, Pereira is undefeated from three fights so far in the UFC whilst he’s undefeated in his last six MMA fights.

The Brazilian is coming off a first-round knockout of the highly rated Sean Strickland.

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Sports

Commonwealth Games 2022: Australia win gold, redemption in Rugby Sevens, defeat Fiji

Australia have wrapped up the Commonwealth Rugby Sevens gold medal in a 22-12 win over Fiji in a dominant display.

It’s redemption for the Aussies after a heartbreaking loss at the previous Commonwealth Games in Australia.

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Australia lost an epic final in 2018 on the Gold Coast, down 17-12 in extra-time to New Zealand.

But after edging past the Kiwis in a dramatic semi-final and losing a pool game to Fiji, Australia made no mistake in the final.

Faith Nathan scored a first half double as well as a try to Madison Ashby opened up a massive 17-0 lead at halftime.

The Aussies then scored immediately after the half through Maddison Levi, making it a 22-0 lead.

Although the Fijians finally got a pass to stick and scored a try as well as a consolation two minutes after full-time, it was nowhere near enough as the Aussies claimed the gold medal.

It had been the one medal Australia had been missing, having won in Rio in 2016, and coming into the tournament as the reigning Rugby Sevens women’s world champions after winning four of the six tournaments in the 2021-22 World Series.

Aussie star Charlotte Caslick said it was nearly a perfect performance from gold medalists.

“I think in those physical contests, we dominated nearly every single one of those and that’s what we had to do,” Caslick said after the match.

“I wouldn’t say it was perfect (performance) but it was close to.

“We’ve had an amazing World Series and been dominant year so to be rewarded in front of an awesome crowd is pretty special.”

And it was more redemption after Australia was bundled out of the Tokyo Olympics in a 19-0 quarterfinal thrashing by Fiji.

While the women’s side will bring home the extra baggage of the gold medals, the men couldn’t follow suit.

After a semi-final loss to South Africa earlier in the day, the Aussies fell 26-12 to New Zealand in the bronze medal match to miss the podium.

It was a tough break for Australia who are second on the World Series ladder behind South Africa with one tournament left in Los Angeles in late August.

South Africa broke to the men’s title in a 31-7 obliteration of Fiji.

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Sad new reality for flopping Ferrari; McLaren’s silver lining after Dan disaster: F1 Talking Pts

Wins don’t come much more emphatic than from 10th on the grid at the Hungaroring.

Max Verstappen’s against-the-odds victory at the Hungarian Grand Prix was only the fourth time someone’s won in Budapest starting further back than the front two rows. Not only was it a clear underline on Red Bull Racing’s superiority in the 2022 championship race, it was also a neat encapsulation of the entire season to date as the sport heads into the mid-season break.

It featured a wildly slow then unexpectedly and inexplicably fast Mercedes that threatened to win the race but ultimately couldn’t manage it.

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It featured Ferrari somehow fumbling what should’ve been an unimpeachable pace advantage early in the weekend to finish off the podium and denying it lacks operational sharpness.

And as its centrepiece it featured Red Bull Racing executing most effectively, Verstappen seizing his opportunities and both ending Sunday with enhanced points leads.

You almost don’t need to have seen any other race this year to understand where the championship stands and predict where it’ll head when racing resumes at the end of August after the mid-season break.

REMINDER: FERRARI TARGETED TO ONE-TWO

There’s no team that needs the mid-season break more urgently than Ferrari, which contributed yet another way to ship more points to Red Bull Racing and Verstappen in an already bleak title campaign.

All this despite having explicitly targeted a one-two finish just days earlier.

It won’t shock you to know that the team’s embarrassing loss came mainly from the pit wall.

Slow pit stops meant it took longer for Leclerc to pass pole-getter Russell than it should have, and it cost Sainz the opportunity to pass the Briton at all.

It then made the fatal error of swapping Leclerc onto the unfancied hard tire for his final stint in a hasty attempt to cover the undercutting Verstappen — despite the fact every other car that had used the tire was struggling badly for grip.

Not only did it cost him the lead, but he was forced into making a third stop that left him an almost unbelievable sixth at the flag.

Ferrari protested after the race that the problem wasn’t its strategy but the car, which in the cooler Sunday conditions wasn’t exhibiting the dominant edge it enjoyed during Friday practice.

Leclerc burnt by ANOTHER Ferrari blunder | 01:14

“Certainly we didn’t have the performance we were expecting,” team boss Mattia Binotto told Sky Sports. “Whatever the tyres, somehow the performance of our cars was not as expected.

“Today the car was not behaving well, I think that’s the point.”

Binotto isn’t wrong to make that argument, but he is exaggerating. Ferrari was slower than it was on Friday, but it was still the fastest car on track.

We can make a like-for-like comparison between Leclerc and Verstappen on the medium tire in the middle of the race, Even accounting for the Dutchman’s older rubber, the Monegasque was still quicker, or at least quick enough to take him on directly.

But the team let itself be spooked by Verstappen’s second undercut attempt with 32 laps to go. Rather than race to its own pace, run deep and switch to softs — which it did with Sainz — it brought Leclerc in immediately for the hard tire and suffered the consequences.

“I felt very strong on the medium. Everything was under control,” Leclerc told Sky Sports. “I don’t know why we needed to go on the hard.

“I said on the radio I was very comfortable on the medium and I wanted to go as long as possible on those tires because the feeling was good. I don’t know why we made a different decision.”

So really there are two key mistakes here. One is coolness under pressure in reading the race, and the other is misunderstanding the hard tyre, which the team thought would warm up after 10 laps but which in reality was never going to be effective. It’s not the first time it’s committed either foul this season.

Leclerc left Budapest with a whopping 80-point deficit to Verstappen and Ferrari is now 97 points adrift of Red Bull Racing. More worrying still, the team’s just 30 points ahead of Mercedes.

And with performance like that, would you be willing to back Ferrari to hold second?

Max & Lewis chuckle at Ferrari’s tactics | 00:33

MAX VERSTAPPEN PUTS ONE HAND ON THE TROPHY

If Charles Leclerc’s solo crash at the French Grand Prix effectively decided the destination of the title, Verstappen’s slick victory in Budapest gave him a chance to put one hand on the trophy.

An 80-point advantage is more than three clear race victories. He can now afford to finish second to Leclerc at every race, including the sprint in Brazil, and ship the point for fastest lap and he still won’t lose the title lead before the end of the season.

Before the mid-season break he’s been able to put the fate of the drivers championship completely in his own hands. No mean feat.

After last season’s down-to-the-wire blockbuster finale, you’ll be concerned to know we can start counting down the points needed to win the championship.

With nine rounds remaining, Verstappen can win the championship with just five more victories even if Leclerc finishes second to him in all of them. That puts him on track to claim the crown at the Japanese Grand Prix.

And perhaps Verstappen winning the next five races is unlikely — he’s yet to win more than three in a row this season — but with Mercedes potentially in the mix, he may have a team to pick points off Ferrari and Leclerc, in which case just finishing with one or two cars between him and the Monegasque regardless of their finishing position would probably be enough to get the job done.

The weekend wasn’t perfect of course. A power unit problem was part of the reason he qualified poorly, and a clutch issue spun him around in the race, temporarily costing him the lead. He’ll also need to serve a penalty for a new power unit at some point in the second half of the year, having installed his third and final motor this weekend.

But the gap is easily wide enough to absorb that pressure, and with Leclerc needing at least one more round of power unit penalties, it’s extremely difficult to imagine a scenario in which Verstappen doesn’t win the title with at least two rounds to spare

Max spins but still wins in Hungary | 01:11

MERCEDES UNEXPECTEDLY FAST BUT UNSURE ABOUT PERMANENCE

Mercedes arrived in Budapest in the brace position, appeared to be justified by its lackluster Friday performance, but by the end of the weekend it had collected its first pole of the year with George Russell and a second straight double podium.

Lewis Hamilton had even been on a late an unlikely charge for victory that team boss Toto Wolff said could’ve ended in success had he qualified higher up the grid rather than suffer a DRS failure in Q3.

What’s more, the Hungaroring layout should have been a struggle circuit for the car, which tends to prefer faster tracks — Hamilton almost won at Silverstone, both drivers showed good pace in Austria before crashing out of qualifying, and the team got both cars onto the podium in France.

Wolff, however, said it was less a case of not understanding the reasons for its speed in Budapest but rather figuring out if those reasons applied universally or only to the specific characteristics of the Hungaroring.

“It’s not that we have no clue why the car has been fast,” Wolff said, per The Race.

“We had directions during the season where we believed it would unlock the potential of the car, and it didn’t.

“So here we have another direction, and that was very quick on the stopwatch.

“But I don’t want to have another false dawn and we come to the realization tomorrow and Spa that it didn’t reap the benefits that we were hoping to have.

“In that respect, let’s just wait and see where this is going.”

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In that respect Mercedes must be frustrated to have to wait three weeks to try to validate its progress, though the triple-header comprising three distinct track types will be the ultimate test of its solution.

The team is long out of championship contention, but the W13’s fortunes are still relevant to the title outcome.

Potentially now quick enough to contend for regular merited podiums and perhaps victories at some tracks, how well Mercedes does on any given weekend will decide three things: how soon Verstappen wins the title — or, if you’re extremely optimistic, whether he wins the title; where Ferrari will finish in the constructors standings; and whether Leclerc will finish second in the drivers standings.

George Russell is now just 20 points behind Leclerc in the battle for a second, with Hamilton 12 points further back, and the team is now only 30 points short of Ferrari in the teams title battle.

It’s too late for the major prizes, but the minor placings are still very much up for grabs.

McLAREN STILL IN TOUCH FOR FOURTH DESPITE RICCIARDO PENALTY

The battle for best of the midfield is similarly still very much alive, with McLaren maintaining its four-point deficit to Alpine in fourth on the constructors title table.

Ricciardo pulls off epic double pass | 00:46

This was an improved weekend for Woking, one week after it introduced its major upgrade package at the French Grand Prix. Not only did Lando Norris again outqualify both French cars, but this week he retained his place ahead of them despite a slow first pit stop, ensuring maximum midfield points with seventh place.

He had Alpine’s unlikely one-stop strategy to thank in part. Alpine did n’t have a second set of medium tires for either driver, having burnt through them during practice, and so he had little choice but to go long, meaning he neither could challenge the leading Briton.

Daniel Ricciardo was the only weak point for McLaren. The Australian had been marginally off Norris’s pace through the race but quick enough to be running behind him before the first stops, even makingthat excellent double pass around the two battling Alpine drivers to hold the place.

But his struggles really started during his final stint on the hard tire and intensified once he was lapped, costing him precious tire temperature each time he was waved a blue flag.

The lack of grip on the white-walled tire was also behind him running wide and into Lance Stroll at turn 2, earning him a five-second penalty, when he was trying to let the Canadian by.

It left him out of the points, allowing a superb drive by Sebastian Vettel to be rewarded by one point, the German having recovered from 18th by avoiding that troublesome hard tire.

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UFC 277: Brandon Moreno vs. Deiveson Figueiredo, Dana White apology, video, Kai Kara-France

Brandon Moreno is a UFC champion again and looks set to face defending unified champion and longtime rival Deiveson Figueiredo for the flyweight title.

But when Figueiredo entered the octagon after Moreno’s TKO win over Kai Kara-France, the new interim champion took a moment to think about what he said next.

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He wanted to make a statement, to “take the mic” and tell his intense rival: “Let’s go motherf***er”, as Moreno put it when speaking to media at the post-fight press conference.

“But everything I said was real. My daughter Madison is eight years old and now she understands everything,” he added.

“I knew I had the opportunity to be a better example for her. I don’t want it for her de ella, her dad de ella doing stupid things on television.

He wanted to make a statement, to “take the mic” and tell his intense rival: “Let’s go motherf***er”, as Moreno put it when speaking to media at the post-fight press conference.

“But everything I said was real. My daughter Madison is eight years old and now she understands everything,” he added.

“I knew I had the opportunity to be a better example for her. I don’t want it for her de ella, her dad de ella doing stupid things on television.

So, instead of engaging in a war of words, the two instead put their history behind them with a classy exchange.

“This guy right here, tonight is his night and he is the champion,” Figueiredo said, through a translator.

“I have a lot of respect for him… I want to take this fight home to Brazil.”

“I don’t hate you,” Moreno later replied.

“I don’t feel anything against you. I forgive you. Please forgive me if I did something bad against you. I want to fight in December.”

UFC boss Dana White confirmed he is hoping the sport will return to Brazil next year, adding: “We’ll see what this crazy world has to throw at us in the next six months.”

But White himself was actually apologetic for deciding to get Figueiredo to enter the octagon post-fight, admitting on reflection that it was a “pretty disrespectful” move.

“You know what, it was kind of an in-the-moment thing,” White told reporters.

“Then when I hear him get up there I was like: ‘Well that was f***ing rude’. This kid is having his moment from him and he’s got Figueiredo standing in his face from him.

“It happened, it wasn’t horrible and we meant no disrespect to Moreno but it came off pretty disrespectful.”

While White is typically not a fan of running a fight back any more than three times, he made it clear he is very happy to see Moreno and Figueiredo face off in what would be their fourth meeting.

“It is one of those unique, freaky deals where who doesn’t want to see that fight again,” he said.

“I’m the worst with that stuff. I hate that s***. If you’ve got a guy up 2-1 you don’t ever need to see that fight again but this is one of those weird ones where you can.”

Originally published as UFC boss apologises for ‘disrespectful’ move after Moreno fight

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