It’s arguable no sex trend has received more airtime in recent years than pegging.
Truly, you can’t read a blog or scroll through social media without hearing about it right now. Even the highly censored TikTok is awash with video memes about it.
But the trendy sex act is by no means new, or – frankly, if you ask this seasoned sex columnist – particularly cutting-edge.
So why is everyone on the internet suddenly obsessed with it?
My guess is – easier, more discreet access to sex toys and the shifting cultural dialogue around gender and sexuality, along with mainstream representation of the practice (who can forget the iconic episode of Broad City where Abbi’s new beau enthusiastically asks her to peg him?) have all played a role.
But of course, if you’ve never heard of pegging, this likely isn’t making a lot of sense to you.
So, let me fill you in, in the best way I can, because while it might not be revolutionary, it’s no G-rated sport, either.
In short, pegging – sometimes referred to as “reverse anal sex” – is a kind of heteronormative sexual role reversal.
Coined by American sex columnist Dan Savage in the early 2000s, it’s a term used to describe a practice among opposite-sex couples that essentially places the man in a receiver role and puts the woman in control through the aid of a wearable attachment, strapped onto her pelvis.
If you don’t catch my drift, google at your own peril. (Probably best not to do it at work.)
And it makes perfect sense why so many men enjoy it, given the powerfully orgasmic potential of the prostate.
Trawl any Reddit forum on prostate orgasms, and you’ll find guys raving about the transformative experience, which is said to be so earth-shattering, it’s even been referred to as a “Super Orgasm”.
In one particular thread, a male Redditor describes it as, “[Like] wave after wave smashing over my body. My skin felt super receptive. I felt every hair follicle on my scalp … When I stood up, I couldn’t walk. My knees were quivering… It was intense beyond intense.”
However, despite the profound pleasure the prostate can bring about, there are still men who won’t go near it due to an archaic idea of heterosexuality rooted in homophobia.
The bizarre belief that men who enjoy penetration or anal play are gay is, of course, entirely illogical, given there is no relationship between the mechanics of orgasm and our attraction to particular genders.
This ideology speaks to an intensely fragile construct of masculinity hinged upon a fear of vulnerability and femininity.
Queer men – particularly those who flout gender norms by embracing femininity, which patriarchal culture conditions us to view as weak and languid – represent a threat to traditional ideas of manhood. And so, in this toxic definition of masculinity, anything that might align with queerness or femininity must be shunned.
However, our evolving cultural dialogue around sexuality and pleasure is prompting more men to break away from this rigid paradigm and embrace less heteronormative approaches to sex.
And two years of lockdowns might have had at least a little something to do with this shift, given the pandemic gave us all time to sexually self-reflect and sparked sky-high sales among adult retailers – most of whom noted marked increases in purchases of less traditional products, like strap-on harnesses and prostate massagers.
“The deciding point for me was when I realized how much I enjoyed the prostate and anal stimulation I was getting from my prostate toy… It occurred to me that if I enjoy this, I might enjoy being penetrated… and even more so with a woman strapping it on,” an anonymous male explained on Reddit.
Indeed, while anal products may have once been difficult to come by and were originally considered a niche category reserved for gay men, the market has experienced record growth in recent years, indicating a move toward mainstream use which retailers say has been largely driven by straight men.
My prediction is we won’t see the demand for pegging-related products and education slow down any time soon. As increasing numbers of men discover the joy of receiving, so too, we can expect the definition of masculinity and the oppressive restraints it’s historically placed on men, to continue to loosen and expand.
And as far as I’m concerned, this can only be a good thing. So, peg away, guys.
Follow Nadia Bokody on Instagram and YouTube for more sex, relationship and mental health content.
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