Young Australian man Jacob says his father disowned him when he came out as gay – so imagine his shock when he came across his married, “homophobic” father on the hookup app Grindr.
Jacob revealed the bizarre tale on Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O’s radio show, explaining that he’d been scrolling through profiles when he came across a photo of a man’s torso – with no head shown in the picture – and thought he noticed something a little familiar .
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“They have one of those ensuites that are through the walk-in closet,” he told the surprised radio duo.
“I thought, that looks sort of like my parents’ house.
“I clicked through the profile to see if it could be my dad.”
Jacob explained that his mum and dad had been happily married for 27 years and he had never seen any sign of a “rift” in their relationship.
Thinking what he’d discovered may be a fake profile, he decided to engage with the user to see if it really was his dad.
“I wasn’t flirting with him, I just engaged in normal conversation, told him I liked his picture and asked where he is from,” Jacob explained.
“Then I asked for a picture of his face – when he felt it through it was my dad.”
Jacob said he was now faced with a difficult dilemma.
Should he tell his mum? Should he confront his dad about him?
“I am very open and forward-thinking, I don’t care if he is gay, I just don’t want him lying to mum,” he said.
Despite his father disowning him when he told his parents about his sexual orientation, they eventually reconciled.
Now, he said he wanted to talk to his father and “get his story.”
“I want to know why he has been hiding it from me for so long,” he said.
“He was super against it when I was coming out.
“He hated me.
“He was super angry and didn’t want anything to do with me in his life.”
Jacob asked those listening in to the radio segment for advice.
What should I do?
The overwhelming response was that Jacob should sit down with his parents and discuss what he had found out – as difficult as that might be.
“You have to discuss this with both your parents, they have to be aware,” one caller advised.
Another listener said the same thing had happened to his partner.
“My partner had a similar thing happen, his dad had six kids, was a construction manager and appeared happily married,” the caller said.
“Your dad will be happier if he can be true to his real identity, and your mum deserves the chance to be happy too.”
A third caller suggested Jacob speak to his father first, then his mum, rather than addressing the issue with them both at the same time.
One man revealed that he had found gay magazines in his dad’s car and followed him after work one day.
“I found out what he was doing in the evening,” the man explained.
“I spoke to my siblings about it and we realized he had been doing it our whole lives.”
The caller added that his parents were still together after the family had a “sit-down chat” about his father’s sexual orientation.
At the end of the radio segment Jacob told Kyle and Jackie O that he was still feeling undecided about what to do and would have to give it more thought.
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