two.
Having deep and meaningful conversations at 1am around this specific outdoor table.
3.
Singing “he’s a pisspot through and through” while forcing someone to down their drink in one go.
Four.
Flying to Asia just to get gloriously hammered on cheap cocktails for a week.
5.
Having an unwavering allegiance to goon sacks.
6.
And playing goon of fortune.
The Hills Hoist was featured in the 2000 Olympics closing ceremony in Sydney. For Brisbane 2032 I am proposing honoring the tradition of ‘Goon of Fortune’
The fact that we have a whole-ass game dedicated to pegging a goon sack to a hills hoist? Truly iconic.
7.
Having no real regard for arbitrary alcohol “rules.”
8.
Using empty bottles as decor.
9.
Drinking Passion Pop in a park.
It’s basically a rite of passage at this point. Then as we age we progress from parks to house parties, in our twenties we go from pubs to chic cocktail bars — and then back to pubs by the time we’re 30.
10.
Woofing into dirty kebabs or HSPs at 2am after a night out.
If any of y’all ever come to Australia, you’ve GOT to try the halal snack pack Delicious 🥰
There is literally no better drunk food.
eleven.
Having literally 100 words for being drunk – including “maggot,” “hammered,” “shit-faced,” “pissed” or “fucked.”
12.
And calling beer bottles “stubbies,” beer cans “tinnies,” schooners “schooeys,” and draft beer “tappies.”
americans calling tinnies tallboys is so funny to me. gonna start calling stubbies littlelads
We love drinking so much that we’ve developed a whole new language around it.
13.
Oh, and let’s not forget every different state having different names for beer sizes.
14.
Getting anyone who goes overseas to pick you up two bottles of Absolut at duty free on their way home.
fifteen.
Drinking alcopops as a teen, avoiding them in your early 20s, then a few years later getting delighted when you find them in an esky at a ~grown-up~ party.
16.
Always finding new and inventive ways to drink.
17.
Carrying our beloved goon sack model over to other beverages.
18.
Calling sauvignon blanc “savvy b”.
Australian’s need to shorten everything is absolutely baffling. ‘Can I get a glass of Savvy B?’ IT’S CALLED SAUVIGNON BLANC DICKHEAD.
Even if it’s a $300 bottle from some obscure French winery, it’s still a good old bott of savvy B.
19.
And finally, having a record for fastest beer-drinking being held by a former Prime Minister.